Healthcare in Ford Nation

I’m glad that people are talking about the reality that drug addiction is a health issue. I’m glad that my friends and the media are taking time to say that you shouldn’t shame someone for having a drug addiction. What’s being left out of the conversation is that not everyone who uses drugs is abusing them, and not everyone who abuses drugs is addicted to them.

I’m not the only person in the world with friends who are total dickheads when they drink. They’ll say shitty things, they’ll do shitty things, and you don’t want to be anywhere near them when they’re drinking. If they decide to get wasted every now and then and get into fights and drive home drunk, that doesn’t mean they’re an alcoholic. It just means they’re an asshole. Substance dependence is a serious medical issue. Being an asshole is not.

Have you ever been to a college town? Hung out at a university bar? Those drunk people trying to grab your ass or get in your face are assholes, not addicts, and it’s worth taking a second look at Rob Ford’s history and thinking about which profile he fits best.

But Jairus! Isn’t that a false dilemma? Sure. But being an alcoholic is a lot more than binge drinking and acting like a shithead, and being a drug addict is a lot more than smoking coke and calling someone a fag.

When I am walking down Rideau Street, I never ask what they are charging.

The transcripts of the Senate debate on the recently-amended drug bill are pretty amazing:

Hon. Claude Carignan: People often bring up the hypothetical situation of a youth who gets sent to jail for passing a joint to a friend. This bill has nothing to do with situations like that. Have any of you ever seen a three-kilogram joint?

Senator Comeau: That would be huge!

Senator Carignan: It would indeed be a huge joint.

In the trenches

Just came back from PodCamp Toronto, where Audra and I gave a presentation on Social Media in the Public Service. It went over really well, and it’ll be up on SlideShare once the video/audio archives are up at PodCamp so I can stitch it all together.

I spent a fair amount of the trip feeling ill, and to my horror, I’ve realized that I always started feeling sick about twenty minutes after having a few cups of coffee. Caffeine is one of my most treasured addictions, and I don’t know how easily I would be able to function without it. I don’t think there has ever been a period in my life where I was caffeine-free.

I’d like to go back and spend some more time wandering the city once it warms up a bit. I think I’m slowly coming to terms with my relationship with Toronto. We’ll never be what we were, but I think we could learn how to be friends.

Let me just hold those conventions for you, sir.


Canadian soldiers in Afghanistan will be ordered to attack opium traffickers and drug facilities when there is proof of direct links to the Taliban, CBC News has learned.

The new order follows a heated debate among NATO allies over whether the attacks could be declared war crimes.

Defence Minister Peter MacKay told CBC News soldiers would indeed target drug traffickers and drug production facilities.

First, using military force on civilian targets — even if you don’t like what they do for a living — is a war crime.

Second, our military is in fucking Afghanistan fighting DRUG DEALERS WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK ASDFKASODFKOAWEF

semantic spaces

I sometimes think that I need to find a new place, somewhere I can weep and scream and fuck and bleed.

Not a real place, but a place like this — close enough to ‘real life’ to mean something, and distant enough from it to still allow for some level of honesty.

Because I don’t do those things here, anymore, and it’s starting to feel as though I never did.

Maybe I just need to get really high, fuck and play Tetris Attack until dawn.

I haven’t been writing much lately, life has been too chaotic. Home is crazy, work is crazy, all is crazy. Crazy and frustrating. Not all frustrating, but frustrating enough. My computer isn’t working right, I’m not done moving yet, I owe more money today than I ever have, I’m not doing the things I enjoy nearly as much as I want or need to be, blah blah blah.

(Also, there’s cat hair everywhere, and it’s making me lose my fucking mind.)

I’m waiting on tour news from Cyanotic, looks like I might be joining them for November thing supporting one of the coldwave greats. With that said, I’ve planned on at least three tours this year that didn’t happen, so I’m not holding my breath. I was hoping there would be some European dates that would let me work around Maschinenfest, but all the overseas dates seem to be exceptionally flakey.

I’m finishing up the Ad·ver·sary album now, so we’ll see what happens after I send it off to Stefan. If he still wants to publish it on Ant-Zen, that would be fantastic. Otherwise, I’ll send it off to Ad Noiseam (even though I doubt they’d be interested) and Hands, and/or just publish it myself. I should also start calling in the remixes promised to me relatively soon.

There’s so much tension under my skin, and I don’t know where it’s from, or where to channel it.

I’ve been realizing this week just how much I miss being involved in the front lines of computer security, in the way only a disaffected teenager with no social life can be. I’m still involved in security, but I’m not discovering exploits, I’m not participating in anything global, or working with anything dangerous. I’m not doing anything that hasn’t been done and documented a thousand times before by a thousand other people.

What I miss, I think, is being involved in something that matters.

Housewarming soon.

Why I hate reading the news

So we have this little thing called the HIV/AIDS Policy and Law Review. It’s a think tank to provide analysis, review, and solutions for HIV/AIDS issues in our country. As you may know, one of the ways that people in Canada contract HIV is through drug usage. Resultingly, the Policy and Law Review studies our drug policies to see how effective they are at their stated goals.

The new report says the same thing our Auditor-General said five years ago: Law enforcement is not a workable solution to the drug problem. Let’s look at the report:

The federal government continues to invest heavily in policies and practices that have repeatedly been shown in the scientific literature to be ineffective or harmful:

The drug strategy’s $245-million budget breakdown:

  • Law enforcement: 73%
  • Treatment: 14%
  • Research: 7%
  • Addiction prevention: 3%
  • Harm reduction: 3%

The overwhelming emphasis continues to be on conventional enforcement-based approaches which are costly and often exacerbate, rather than reduce, drug-related harm.

Pretty heavy stuff. As all the literature and science shows, law enforcement doesn’t deal with the issue. Luckily, we have a new government which has vowed to solve this problem, right? And clearly, the Liberal strategy of an overwhelming focus on law enforcement isn’t working. Let’s ask the office of the Health Minister for his reaction!

“Our own national drug strategy is in the works. It’s something we’ve actually been working on for some time. The previous government took its own approach, which we happen to disagree with.

In every poll, when Canadians are asked whether they want more law enforcement or less, they want more. So the bottom line is that Canada’s new government will be taking a different approach.”

You heard it right, folks! The Conservatives disagree with the failed Liberal policy of overwhelming law enforcement. They have a different approach to solve this problem, which they’ve been working on for some time: More law enforcement!

Can we have an election now, please?

Dreams, always more dreams.

Lost in fields of opium and daggers, with red grass too tall to provide any real sense of safety. Above me, below me, around me. Red.

On my hands. Staining my clothes. Dried under my fingernails. Caked on the gun.

This was the fifth time they’d sent people, and I expected it’d be the last. These ones knew about us. They knew where we hid the money, where we hid the drugs, where we had come from, and most importantly, that we didn’t do it.

Our guilt was of no consequence to them, however, and it was kill or be killed.

We had spent over half a year building our life away from this. We had moved from the place we loved, we had given up our friends and family for the chance at a life together. Somehow we knew it’d end like this. We knew they wouldn’t forget us.

At least we were together. At least we could die holding hands.

If I could find her in the grass before they found us.

(The older I get, the less I understand how people cope with their dreams. How am I supposed to go out and interact with people tonight, when I just spent the last five months in a place of pain and loss? The fact that it didn’t happen in the way that ‘real things’ happen makes it no easier for me to deal with. I was there. I lived, I ate, I slept, I felt. It was as real and immersive to me as this waking world is now.)

a wicked law, like cholera, destroys everyone it touches

Drug War Victims:

John Hirko, 21 years old: An unarmed man with no prior offenses was shot to death in his house by a squad of masked police. In a no-knock raid, they tossed a smoke grenade in through a window, setting the house on fire. Hirko, suspected of dealing small amounts of marijuana and cocaine, was found face down on his stairway, shot in the back while fleeing the burning building. When the fire was finally put out, officers found some marijuana seeds in an unsinged plastic bag.

Tony Marinez, 19 years old: Officers conducted a drug raid on a mobile home in De Valle. Martinez, who was not the target of the raid, was asleep on the couch when the raid commenced. Hearing the front door smashed open, he sat up, and was shot to death in the chest.

Alberto Sepulveda, 11 years old: Alberto was killed by a shotgun blast to the back while following police orders and lying face down on the floor during a SWAT raid. He was a seventh-grader at Prescott Senior Elementary School.

(More at Drug WarRant.)

Reaction time is a factor in this, so please pay attention.

Researchers who ‘proved’ that Ecstasy equals Parkinson’s gave monkeys the wrong drug. (Prediction: This announcement will have zero effect on drug policy/propaganda, and substandard research will continue to serve the status quo. It’s a pretty wacky theory, I know….)

Voight-Kampff Test administered to San Francisco mayoral candidates.

Direct-to-DVD Family Guy might happen soon.

White Wolf sues the shit out of Sony for making a crappy movie in the World of Darkness without permission.

Trifid M20 and IC 443.


name: Jairus W.K.R.P?
do you like it? How could you not like being Jairus W.K.R.P?
nicknames: Jai, Fucko, Bitch.
screen names: Twiin, Jyro
age: 23
birthday: May 22, 1979
sign: Twiin
location: Ottawa
school: No.
natural hair color: Black
current hair color: Blue
eye color: Green and Amber
height: 5’8
weight: 120
birthplace: Ottawa
shoe size: 9

[ family ]
parents: Jacqueline the Biker and Flint the Turkish Mafia Don (you think I’m joking, don’t you?)
siblings: Oliver in BC, Silk (AKA Eternia the Rap star) in Toronto, Jessica in Toronto, Joshua in Toronto, Joshua mk2 in Ottawa, Charlie in Ottawa.
live with: Leslie, Suzanne.

[ this or that ]
me/you: them
coke/pepsi: Coke!
day/night: Dusk
aol/aim: AIM
cd/cassette: cd
dvd/vhs: dvd
jeans/khakis: Cotton! It works!
car/truck: Motorcycle
tall/short: Short
nsync/bsb: Milli Vanilli
britney/christina: Samantha Fox
gap/old navy: Randy River
lipstick/lipgloss: Lipstick
silver/gold: titanium
alcohol/weed: ew
crunchy/smooth: smoooooth

[ love and relationships ]
do you have a bf/gf?: Only one of them.
do you have a crush?: See above
why do you like this person?: Soft… Pretty… Smell good… oh BIG BRAIN TOO BRAINS ARE GOOD LOVE YOU LESLIE
if you’re single, why are you single?: I’m single?
how long was your longest relationship?: 2 1/2 years.

[ the past ]
what is the one thing you would change about your past?: I would airdrop bags of money into yesterday.
what is the biggest mistake you’ve made in your life?: The Punk House.
last thing you said: Sitar Player!
who is the last person you saw?: Jewbear
who is the last person you kissed?: LESLIEBEAR
who is the last person you hugged?: LESLIEBEAR
who is the last person you fought with?: Some fuckhead on XVI
who is the last person you were on the phone with?: Gowan
what is the last song you heard? Something by Forma Tadre

[ the present ]
what are you wearing?: Black socks, black pants, black shirt, black shoes, black hoodie.
what are you doing?: Working. No, really. :)
who are you talking to?: Violetnun!
what song are you listening to?: The sound of a thousand monkeys on a thousand keyboards.
where are you?: Work!
who are you with?: Workers!
are you online?: Am I posting this?
how are you feeling?: I’d rather be fishing.
are you in a chatroom?: I work in a chatroom.
do you smell good?: Do Turks smell good?
is smell important to you?: Only when I notice it.

[ favourites ]
incense: Nag Champa.
wine: Inskillin Ice.
cheese: 12-year-old cheddar. Or Black Diamond processed slices.
coffee: Jamaican High Mountain, from the Baronhall Estate.
season: Summer.
vegetable: AIEEE
fruit: EEEEE
meat: All of it.
bread: Anything white. Yo.
drink: Jolt.

[ future ]
what day is it tomorrow?: Two days after yesterday
what are you going to do after this?: Glare at the LAN Manager
who are you going to talk to?: Whoever talks to me first
where are you going to go?: Continue ‘working’
how old will you be when you graduate?: Graduate from what, exactly?
what is one of your dreams?: Nightclub, Cafe, leet design job…
where will you be in 25 years? Bald

[ have you ever ]
drank?: Is this for real?
smoked?: Only 15 times a day.
stolen?: These questions suck. How about these ones instead: ran from cops while stealing? done obscure drugs with only consonants and numbers for a name? caused over ten thousand dollars in property damage? in one night?
done anything illegal?: assaulted an officer of the law? arson? conspiracy? treason?
wanted to die?: Why am I answering this again?
hit someone?: sigh

[ other ]
do you write in cursive or print?: Print
are you a lefty or a righty?: Depends what you mean, I suppose.
what is your sexual preference?: People, mostly.

[ physical appearance ]
what do you most like about your body?: I have all the bits that I’m supposed to.
and least?: They all look kinda funny.
do you think you’re good looking?: For a Turk.
do other people often tell you that you’re good-looking?: One person does, bless her feminist heart.

[ fashion ]
do you wear a watch?: No. Adam broke mine, and I’ve been too shattered to replace it.
how many coats and jackets do you own?: Three or four trenchcoats, maybe one that isn’t?
favorite pants/skirt color?: #000000
most expensive item of clothing?: 200$ boots.
most treasured?: Leather trenchcoat #1.
what kind of shoes do you wear?: Combat boots, most of the time.

[ politics ]
do you believe in the death penalty?: BOO
right/left: Left
do you believe in a woman’s right to choose?: Yes. I also believe in a man’s right to choose.
do you believe in the sanctity of conception?: In that chemical-reaction kind of way, yep.
do you believe in penal justice?: Punishment =/= Justice.
do you think you know what it means to be a feminist?: Nope.
do you believe in corporal punishment?: I believe in a good beating.

[ stuff ]
someone you’d like to get back in touch with from your past: David Lea.
old product from your youth you wish they’d bring back: Gatorgum!
old product from your youth you hope never comes back: Vegetables.
most important thing you want changed by this time next year: A credit card would be nice…
do you plan on living in your city for the rest of your life?: Nope.
if no, then where to next?: Netherlands/Belgium/Shinjuku/Toronto
if yes, the main reason why you stay?: I know when cabbies are trying to rip me off.
are you happy?: Quite.
if not, the top 3 reasons why you’re not: where did my pants go?


Sometimes I really, truly, almost give up on this rock.

It’s not the girl suing because she was given detention, or the ‘scandal’ that The Washington Times’ Sayed Anwar of Bethlehem is really Paul Martin of London, or the FDA’s decision to allow food makers to list ‘health claims’ on packaging before they’ve proven.

It’s not the fact that a new appointee to the US Women’s Health policy panel recommends “specific Scripture readings and prayers for such ailments as headaches and premenstrual syndrome”, or that a new appointee to the US Advisory Committee for Reproductive Health Drugs condones only the rhythm method because “medicine is permeated with attitudes toward sexuality and fertility that are incompatible with Christian values”.

It’s none of these things. It’s the fact that none of these things are shocking, or will be challenged with any success, because this is just one day’s worth of depressing news. Every day, I could make a post like this, and have just as many (if not more) fucked-up America stories.

With a tide like that, what the fuck is the point, right?

Living in Canada, things are much better here, but it has come to the point where I question how much longer I can ethically spend twenty to fourty thousand dollars a year in a country that is America’s largest trading partner. Some of my money makes it there out of every dollar I spent, and it is not an insignificant sum.

I fully support Canada’s movement towards drug decriminalization (and heroin safehouses), I support healthcare, our tight-as-a-nun’s-ass food and drug standards, and what looks to be an national desire to distance ourselves from the USA… With that said, we’re going to have a new Prime Minister soon, and most of the candidates with any chance of winning have been very pro-american, and it wouldn’t surprise me to see a Clinton-to-Bush style reversal of policy and procedure.

I love my country, and I will continue to work towards its betterment, but I’m thinking it might be time to plan, seriously plan for the future, and decide if a North American climate is where I want to spend the next 23 years.

I don’t think that it is.