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My Texan Friends,

We regret to inform you that on 4/20, Ad·ver·sary will be performing at The Gallery in Dallas. This will be followed by a DJ set, which will then be followed by a lot of alcohol, and perhaps also a drunken trip to Mexico.

Our apologies for the inconvenience. We will do everything in our power to help you through this difficult time.

Yours in Christ,
Me.