Restraint

What became of your lamb, Clarice?

Empire Magazine is celebrating its 20th anniversary by recreating old movie scenes with new photoshoots:

Empire's Silence of The Lambs recreation

Placentophagtastic!

Went looking on Craigslist for a Technics 1200 dustcover, found this instead:

Hello!

As an avid foodie, I am always looking for tasty culinary experiences.

I am looking for a pregnant woman (preferably due around christmastime so that I can offer to my xmas guests) to sell me her placenta! I plan on using it to make a few dishes, and will probably braise some of it to make a bourgignon-style stew, turn some into a stuffing for ravioli, dice some up into a tartare and slice the rest very thinly to be cooked in a Vietnamese-style soup. If you are interested, you and your partner would be very welcome to join in this gastronomical adventure.

It would be an easy way for you to recoup some of the medical costs associated with pregnancy. You could even spend the money on the baby! If you wanted, I could give you a gift card to Toyz R Us or wherever you wanted to shop.

I would prefer if you didn’t have any blood-borne diseases, but this can be discussed.

Head of Stone

The carvings at the new headquarters of RJW Stonemasons here in Ottawa are stunning:

Carved face by Jason Beaudet

I see you.

Is there any place as universally disliked as a hospital? Sure, no one loves a dentist’s office, but the pathos of an intensive care waiting room can’t be compared to anything else.

The last time I was in an ICU, I wasn’t visiting. I woke up with no idea where I was, or how I had gotten there. Now, I can’t help but feel helpless when I hear the machines and smell disinfectant. I was not prepared for how shaken the visit left me.

Back in the real world, I’m slowly getting decisions made for the next iteration of my work’s website. Our daily traffic numbers are six digits long, so I’m taking my time with these.

  • Which microformats do we want to markup our existing content with? hCard is a gimme, but what about hAtom for press releases? Do we want hCalendar for the schedule of events, or even hResume for biography pages? (And how much work is it going to be to microformat-enable fifteen years worth of content?)
  • Frameworks! We’re happily invested with jQuery as our JS framework of choice, but do we want or need a framework for CSS development? Typography and print? Wordpress theme development? Maybe even a fluid grid system? For my last project (which launches today, in fact) I used TripoliCarrington, and 960 — and while Carrington was amazing (and 960 was pretty good), I’m concerned by the lack of development on Tripoli. The typography is great, but I hate using dead projects. Maybe I should fork it.
  • Do I care if our site validates? CSS 2.1, or should I say fuck it and jump right to 3.0? (Seriously, CSS 2.1 is for suckers.)

I really love nerdy problems.

this is totally my life right now

success

Obamasculation

Are you a Republican? Libertarian (ha-ha!)? Did you feel emasculated after Obama won? Maybe you feel a little less virile, a little less of a man?

As it turns out, you are!

election_testosterone

The present study investigated voters’ testosterone responses to the outcome of the 2008 United States Presidential election. 183 participants provided multiple saliva samples before and after the winner was announced on Election Night. The results show that male Barack Obama voters (winners) had stable post-outcome testosterone levels, whereas testosterone levels dropped in male John McCain and Robert Barr voters (losers).

Wired has an oversimplified assessment of the study’s results, but the findings are clear:

Male voters exhibit biological responses to the realignment of a country’s dominance hierarchy as if they participated in an interpersonal dominance contest. [...] Moreover, since the dominance hierarchy shift following a presidential election is stable for 4 years, the stress of having one’s political party lose control of executive policy decisions could plausibly lead to continued testosterone suppression in males.

Goth·ver·sary

Gothtronic reviews A Bright Cut Across Velvet Sky:

Ad·ver·sary is the powernoise/IDM project of Jairus Khan. In 2008 he made quite a name for himself with his album ‘Bone Music’, which was available as regular cd edition on Tympanik Audio, but could also be downloaded for free in high quality. [...] A very good remix album. Although some songs get remixed three times, all the tracks have a reasonable different sound, so it doesn’t get repetitive. Together with the addition of a couple of new tracks this is really an album you should have in you collection!

I agree with this man! You should download the album (it’s free!), or pick up a CD (on sale now!) from Tympanik.

I love my job (second in a series)

Today I made this for a presentation:
PET Microcomputer

I love my job (first in a series)

This is a list of near-mint records that my boss just gave me:

  • Bauhaus – Bela Lugosi’s Dead (!), 1979-1983, The Sky’s Gone Out
  • Blondie – Autoamerican
  • Gang of Four – Entertainment!, I Love A Man in a Uniform, Solid Gold, The Yellow EP
  • Joy Division – Atmosphere, Closer, Substance
  • Love and Rockets – Ball of Confusion, Express, Love and Rockets, Seventh Dream of Teenage Heaven
  • Minor Threat – Out of Step
  • Mojo Nixon & Skid Roper – Root Hog Or Die
  • New Order – State of the Nation, Subculture, Substance, Technique, The Perfect Kiss
  • Pere Ubu – The Tenement Year
  • Public Image Ltd. – Album
  • Simple Minds – Sister Feelings Call
  • Siouxsie and The Banshees – Cities in Dust
  • Skids – Days in Europa
  • Squeeze – Babylon and on
  • Talk Talk – It’s My Life
  • Talking Heads – Wild Wild Life
  • The B-52s – The B-52s
  • The Cure – Boys Don’t Cry, Concert (Live), Standing on a Beach
  • The Jesus and Mary Chain – Automatic, Darklands
  • The March Violets – Walk Into The Sun
  • The Mission – Carved in sand
  • The Screaming Blue Messiahs – Gun-Shy
  • The Sugar Cubes – Life’s Too Good
  • NME C86

(They were sitting in a milk crate on my chair when I got in this morning!)

Badass of the Month (First in a series)

On this first day of the Octomonth (birthstone: opal; flower: calendula), I would like to introduce you to Hedy Lamarr, the first (of many) BADASS OF THE MONTH(s):

Hedy Smoking

“Any girl can be glamorous. All she has to do is stand still and look stupid.”

Hedy was a successful actress as a young teenager, but her big breaththrough came in the controversial Bohemian (as in, from Bohemia) film, Ecstasy. It was 1933, and people were excited and outraged about a skinny dipping scene; the most outstanding thing about this movie, however, is that it was the first studio film to have a sex scene in it — and the first to depict a female orgasm.

The movie is special not just for its prurient content (and it should be said, the camera never leaves the actors’ faces when things get heavy), but for being an powerful study of a young woman’s sexual empowerment. It was released a year before the Hays Code crackdown began, and so there’s no moral play at work. No virgin/whore complex to feed, no pretense that women live identically sexless lives, who only acquiesce to their husbands after shopping trips (while thinking about their kitchen duties the entire time).

Ecstasy

After Ecstasy’s release, Hedy married an controlling Austro-fascist arms manufacturer thirty years her senior who forbade her from making movies. He would take her with him to his business meetings (where military technology and highly technical problems were debated), and force her to entertain at his parties (which Mussolini often attended).

In 1937, after having enough of his crap (and after being forced by her husband to sleep with Hitler to get an arms contract), Hedy dressed up for a ‘party’, drugged her husband, and left Austria (with all of her magnificently expensive jewelry).

Over the next 10 years she made close to twenty films, had two children, and developed a backstage reputation as a voracious bisexual (second only to her sometimes-lover, Marlon Brando). In her time, she was reportedly involved with Frank Sinatra, Clark Gable, Jimmy Stewart, Johnny Carson, Howard Huges, Errol Flynn, JFK, and even Charlie Chaplin.

“I don’t think that anyone would call me a lesbian, it’s just that I seem to be the type that other women get queer ideas about.”

More importantly, however, she also did this.

U.S. Patent #2292387

U.S. Patent #2292387

That is the design drawing for her 1942 invention of Frequency Hopping Spread Spectrum communication, upon which all WiFi, CDMA cell networks, and countless other technologies rely. It went like this: Radio controlled torpedoes are more accurate than ‘dumb’ torpedoes, but it’s easy to jam the frequency that the torpedo control channel is on. By rapidly changing the frequency that the control channel was transmitted on, you prevent the adversary from jamming your signals.

Working with experimental composer George Anthiel (who once composed a symphony that required 16 player pianos), she placed a modified piano roll in the torpedo and the controller plane, allowing them to switch frequencies in sync with each other. Unfortunately, it was nearly two decades later before her the importance and potential of her invention was realized. The Navy of the time did not take seriously a device invented by a woman that ran on musical equipment, and suggested to Hedy that she could best support the war effort elsewhere. She did, once raising $7,000,000 in a single event where she sold kisses for fifty grand each. (When honored by the EFF in 1997 for her contribution of spread spectrum technology, she was quoted as saying “It’s about time.”)

Her later years were noteworthy for her lavish parties, five husbands, two shoplifting arrests, a star on Hollywood’s walk of fame, and a Boeing recruitment ad featuring her as a woman of science, with no mention of her film career.

So, here’s to you, Hedy Lamarr. You kicked ass, you took names, you did what you wanted, who you wanted, when you wanted, and you changed the world.

Hedy Lamarr

“Jack Kennedy always said to me, Hedy, get involved. That’s the secret of life. Try everything. Join everything. Meet everybody. “