85

[basics]
name: Jairus W.K.R.P?
do you like it? How could you not like being Jairus W.K.R.P?
nicknames: Jai, Fucko, Bitch.
screen names: Twiin, Jyro
age: 23
birthday: May 22, 1979
sign: Twiin
location: Ottawa
school: No.
natural hair color: Black
current hair color: Blue
eye color: Green and Amber
height: 5’8
weight: 120
birthplace: Ottawa
shoe size: 9

[ family ]
parents: Jacqueline the Biker and Flint the Turkish Mafia Don (you think I’m joking, don’t you?)
siblings: Oliver in BC, Silk (AKA Eternia the Rap star) in Toronto, Jessica in Toronto, Joshua in Toronto, Joshua mk2 in Ottawa, Charlie in Ottawa.
live with: Leslie, Suzanne.

[ this or that ]
me/you: them
coke/pepsi: Coke!
day/night: Dusk
aol/aim: AIM
cd/cassette: cd
dvd/vhs: dvd
jeans/khakis: Cotton! It works!
car/truck: Motorcycle
tall/short: Short
nsync/bsb: Milli Vanilli
britney/christina: Samantha Fox
gap/old navy: Randy River
lipstick/lipgloss: Lipstick
silver/gold: titanium
alcohol/weed: ew
crunchy/smooth: smoooooth

[ love and relationships ]
do you have a bf/gf?: Only one of them.
do you have a crush?: See above
why do you like this person?: Soft… Pretty… Smell good… oh BIG BRAIN TOO BRAINS ARE GOOD LOVE YOU LESLIE
if you’re single, why are you single?: I’m single?
how long was your longest relationship?: 2 1/2 years.

[ the past ]
what is the one thing you would change about your past?: I would airdrop bags of money into yesterday.
what is the biggest mistake you’ve made in your life?: The Punk House.
last thing you said: Sitar Player!
who is the last person you saw?: Jewbear
who is the last person you kissed?: LESLIEBEAR
who is the last person you hugged?: LESLIEBEAR
who is the last person you fought with?: Some fuckhead on XVI
who is the last person you were on the phone with?: Gowan
what is the last song you heard? Something by Forma Tadre

[ the present ]
what are you wearing?: Black socks, black pants, black shirt, black shoes, black hoodie.
what are you doing?: Working. No, really. :)
who are you talking to?: Violetnun!
what song are you listening to?: The sound of a thousand monkeys on a thousand keyboards.
where are you?: Work!
who are you with?: Workers!
are you online?: Am I posting this?
how are you feeling?: I’d rather be fishing.
are you in a chatroom?: I work in a chatroom.
do you smell good?: Do Turks smell good?
is smell important to you?: Only when I notice it.

[ favourites ]
incense: Nag Champa.
wine: Inskillin Ice.
cheese: 12-year-old cheddar. Or Black Diamond processed slices.
coffee: Jamaican High Mountain, from the Baronhall Estate.
season: Summer.
vegetable: AIEEE
fruit: EEEEE
meat: All of it.
bread: Anything white. Yo.
cookie: PIRATE COOKIES! ARR!
drink: Jolt.

[ future ]
what day is it tomorrow?: Two days after yesterday
what are you going to do after this?: Glare at the LAN Manager
who are you going to talk to?: Whoever talks to me first
where are you going to go?: Continue ‘working’
how old will you be when you graduate?: Graduate from what, exactly?
what is one of your dreams?: Nightclub, Cafe, leet design job…
where will you be in 25 years? Bald

[ have you ever ]
drank?: Is this for real?
smoked?: Only 15 times a day.
stolen?: These questions suck. How about these ones instead: ran from cops while stealing? done obscure drugs with only consonants and numbers for a name? caused over ten thousand dollars in property damage? in one night?
done anything illegal?: assaulted an officer of the law? arson? conspiracy? treason?
wanted to die?: Why am I answering this again?
hit someone?: sigh

[ other ]
do you write in cursive or print?: Print
are you a lefty or a righty?: Depends what you mean, I suppose.
what is your sexual preference?: People, mostly.

[ physical appearance ]
what do you most like about your body?: I have all the bits that I’m supposed to.
and least?: They all look kinda funny.
do you think you’re good looking?: For a Turk.
do other people often tell you that you’re good-looking?: One person does, bless her feminist heart.

[ fashion ]
do you wear a watch?: No. Adam broke mine, and I’ve been too shattered to replace it.
how many coats and jackets do you own?: Three or four trenchcoats, maybe one that isn’t?
favorite pants/skirt color?: #000000
most expensive item of clothing?: 200$ boots.
most treasured?: Leather trenchcoat #1.
what kind of shoes do you wear?: Combat boots, most of the time.

[ politics ]
do you believe in the death penalty?: BOO
right/left: Left
do you believe in a woman’s right to choose?: Yes. I also believe in a man’s right to choose.
do you believe in the sanctity of conception?: In that chemical-reaction kind of way, yep.
do you believe in penal justice?: Punishment =/= Justice.
do you think you know what it means to be a feminist?: Nope.
do you believe in corporal punishment?: I believe in a good beating.

[ stuff ]
someone you’d like to get back in touch with from your past: David Lea.
old product from your youth you wish they’d bring back: Gatorgum!
old product from your youth you hope never comes back: Vegetables.
most important thing you want changed by this time next year: A credit card would be nice…
do you plan on living in your city for the rest of your life?: Nope.
if no, then where to next?: Netherlands/Belgium/Shinjuku/Toronto
if yes, the main reason why you stay?: I know when cabbies are trying to rip me off.
are you happy?: Quite.
if not, the top 3 reasons why you’re not: where did my pants go?

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