a good close for a long day

Reading a fantastic thread on SomethingAwful by a door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman, where he is helpfully sharing great ways to close a sale:

Here is a dangerous close that should only be used as a last resort if the wife wants it and the husband does not.

Do you love your wife Suzy?
Of course I do.

Tell her you love her, tell Suzy right now.
I love you.

Now do you remember the day you proposed to her? Do you remember Suzy?

Let’s reenact it. (I make the guy get down on one knee right in front of her as if he is going to propose. If he won’t I get down on one knee)

Suppose when you looked up at your girl friend and asked Would you Marry me? What if she looked down at you and smiled and said “I will marry you! But only if you buy me two Kirby Vacuum Cleaners? Would you have still married her? You would have wouldn’t your? Inevitably most guys end up saying yes.

Well you love her just as much today as the day you proposed to her right?

Well the good news is today she only wants one Kirby and it’s $200 off!

So this is kind of like the A-bomb of closes. It can really really make someone mad if you do it wrong.

One time the husband said no and the wife got so mad at him that she took out her credit card, threw it at me and told me to use that. She told her husband she was going to buy it with her own @#$@# money then.

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