Have you ever had one of those moments where, for no reason at all, you suddenly (and vividly) remember what seems like every haunting, painful, and heartwrenching experience that you’ve lived through?
…
Yup.
About
restraint.org is a loose collection of writing, links, ravings, photos, news, fiction, and bad poetry by Jairus Khan. This website has been here (off and on) for ten years or so, and was around in various other forms for three or four years before that.
I spend most of my off-hours working (in Ottawa, Canada) to promote underground arts and media, and trying to keep independent music from being smothered by an anachronism popularly known as ‘the industry’. I DJ weekly, promote concerts/festivals regularly, make beep-beep noises in an industrial-metal band, and release CC-licensed albums for my industrial-slash-experimental-electronic project Ad·ver·sary, which sounds something like robots fucking to My Bloody Valentine.
When I’m not working with, promoting, listening to, or writing music, I design very angry websites, flyers, book jackets, and the sort for various arts projects. I supplement my music/design income (roughly enough to buy a pocketful of buttons a month) by developing counter-hacking courses and moonlighting as a web coordinator for the man.
I also bake very tasty cookies.
8 Comments
we all have those unfortunate moments..
mine is that time my best friend died..
castlevania reminds me of that..
they can’t touch you now….
i sometimes catch faint wisps of it, but i have learned to block it out and turn my mind to other things. Denial is a beautiful thing.
kinda sux when yer literally grabbed by a bad memory and you have no choice but to sit thru til the memory has played itself out like a broken tape player you can’t stop once somebody hits play until the song is over . happens ALL the time
Ya sometimes I do, but I try to think of something positive also
sometimes the memory of old unpleasant experiences appears out of nowhere, and I catch myself making a face and letting out a nervous laugh or some other sound (uncontrollable defence mechanism).
When they all flood me at the same time, I feel like getting some soap and a rope (to wash myself and then go mountain climbing, of course :P)
like a broken record…
*sigh*…certain songs do it…even just catching the last refrain of one particular song is enough to feed the demon memory.