I can’t sleep. My body, stubbornly refusing to accept that it must be at work by 7AM, is staging a rebellion.

That’s fine. It’ll pay for it tomorrow.

I’ve been looking over my old design directory, at all of the sites I’ve built and abandoned over the years, and they all feel like they were built by strangers much more dedicated and talented than I am.

Years ago, I asked my closest friends for advice: Given a choice between music, design, and writing, which should I focus on? In what medium did I do the best work? Universally, my friends replied: Writing first, design second, and music last.

I chose music, as it turns out, and I’ve been very happy with the results. In retrospect, I’m sure part of my motivation for choosing it was that everyone ranked it last. Looking back over these old sites, however, I’m not sure I made the right choice.

Did I really design all these things? One after the other after the other? How the hell did I do that?

And what the hell am I doing now?

4 thoughts on “Restraint

  1. oh man, your sites. i remember shades of blue and restraint the best, especially restraint because i found that one first. what other ones did you have? i feel like you’ve showed me more than just those two.

    and do you have a favo[u]rite?

  2. Restraint will always be my favourite, I think. I put more of myself into it than I put anywhere else.

    I had a lot of others: One I wrote under another name, far away on the internet. There was one which only had one page; every time I wrote something new, I erased everything else that was there – no archives. There was MANiC, an old weblog I did with Jessica, and a private weblog I did a few years ago called Blue Redux. There was also a very short-lived and minimal site I really enjoyed called Shades of Grey, and an aborted attempt at a similar site called Grey Murinae. I might try to revive one of those two, sometime soon.

    There are more, but those are the ones I was looking through the other day.

  3. I would say that you along with Mella and about 5 distinct others were the reason I wanted to do battle in web and interactive in the first place. It was my bread and butter forever, until I was taught to tell stories in other mediums. When I could do so with any degree of professionalism, I moved on from it. A quick glance toward the eventual path I’ll take jumping from media vehicle to media vehicle reveals to me that I’ll be heading up a mograph post house in about 2 years, putting the sheen on shorts and hifi adverts until I get dropped into feature work, gain some clout, and either divert that energy back to the people who are inspired by the work (youth/academia), or land squarely in games with a backlog of old familiar programming faces. I’ll be happy either way, but I plan to have a green house when I’ve saved enough to never have another client.

    I think it’s undeniable that music was a good choice for you, if for nothing else than to be abreast of that wonderful culture. Knee-deep in the soot. What’s the mark you’re trying to hit? If it’s not to be a big blown-out star, when will you be able to stand back and say, “my goal has been met”?

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