empty chairs at empty tables

One week until my birthday. It sneaks up on me year after year, and year after year I move a little further away from youth and comfort. I’ll be 27 next Monday.

I know that every angsty person clad in black says this, but when I was young, I never expected to make it past 25. Not because I’m some kind of JAMES DEAN DANGEROUS LIVING REBEL WOOOOO or anything — but because of my father, and everything that comes along with being his son. On the off-chance that I somehow make it to 30, I had figured, I’ll be some strange new ‘old’ person, full of wisdom and responsbility and experience.

Now that I’m nearly there, I see that this is not the case. If and when I make it to 30, I will be the same person, foolish and irresponsible, only with a few more years of experience at said foolishness.

When I was much younger, I said that the best part of growing up is the fact that you don’t have to. This may still be the case, but I’m getting older regardless.

I own more things right now than I’ve ever owned in my life; I have a good computer, a good video game system, a great TV, a lot of fantastic books and a lot of amazing music. I don’t know if it’s survivor guilt left over from Rideau Street, but I have way too much when so many people have so little. How can I ask for a new gadget or another pair of boots when my house is so full that I need to give away boxes of old things just so I can fit new things in their place?

If any of you had plans to pick me up a card or a little toy or something, please take that two or three dollars and buy a street kid something to eat instead. That would be a wonderful birthday gift.

16 thoughts on “empty chairs at empty tables

  1. If any of you had plans to pick me up a card or a little toy or something, please take that two or three dollars and buy a street kid something to eat instead. That would be a wonderful birthday gift.

    To me, this statement connotes a significant degree of wisdom and responsbility and experience. Looks like you’re not all foolishness and irresponsibility after all ;)

  2. I’ll be 27 next week.

    have i seriously known you for 8 years??

    let’s go shoppin for our respective adult diaper needs.

  3. SCENE I. Livejournal.

    Enter Jairus

    JAIRUS

    lol internets! i’m outta here jerks!

    INTERNETS

    Yes, let’s go.

    They do not move.

  4. I am similar to [info]squid_pants in that I don’t really buy people things. As well, I’m not sure you and I have ever had a conversation, but if I see a streetperson in Trenton (not likely at all), I will make sure to buy them, a good meal.

  5. i love you…you write so beautifully, i’d have to agree; you should try your hand at writing a play…i also find your angst at growing older ‘cute’ ;)

    when you write for everyone, when you share, open yourself in one way or another, when you adventure on t3h internets, you never cease to make me proud of everything you write, express, share…and i’ll be here to keep any wild gadgetry in check; yes you can truuuust meeeee…

    x0

  6. I’ve always assumed you were 27, so your statement is a confirmation that everything is normal in the world of Jairus.

    I’m moving to a place with more poverty than I’ve known personally, so I’ll have countless opportunities to make good on a birthday proposal in your name.

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