I fear it might be too late for myself

Today I received the best email ever.


To: jairus@gmail.com
Subject: Jairus, I fear it might be too late for yourself.
From: jairus@gmail.com
Date: Sat, 22 Apr 2006 16:08:39 -0700 (PDT)

By you I mean me. This is yourself. Jairus Khan of 1502 Clementine Boulevard. That is, before Ottawa was destroyed and our music career failed. The year is 2034. I can’t elaborate now, they’re onto me. We must prevent what is now history from happening in your future.

18 thoughts on “I fear it might be too late for myself

  1. This email could create a time paradox, the result of which could cause a chain reaction that would unravel the very fabric of the space-time continuum and destroy the entire universe! Granted that’s a worst case scenario. The destruction might in fact be very localized, limited to merely our own galaxy

    (Doc Brown teached me everything i know)

  2. Fucking typical. Why is it out future selves are so fucking vague. Names and dates people! I mean, come ON! I can’t be expected to read my own mind.

  3. What?!?!?!

    How did future you get a message past my agents!

    I mean, ummm, I have information that will help you. Trust me.

  4. My mail from the Squid from the future involves things like this:

    “I hope this email reaches you. I am yourself from the future. I have several things to ask of you, first of all, I have a large sum of money here in the future, that, for reasons I can not get into right now, I can not use at the moment. If you send me your visa # (I know it’s my visa # (but because of events that I can not disclose, I can not tell you why I lost it, but only that I did) I can transfer a large sum of money into your account. Also, why have you lived your life with such a small penis! The future brings you Sensattional revolution in future medicine! The future can Enlarge your penis up to 10 cm or up to 4 inches in the future! It’s herbal futuristic solution what hasn’t side effect, but has 100% guaranted results in the future!

    ps. I can get you some great deals on some really cool futuristic watches. (well, imitation futuristic, but they look just like the real thing!”

    I also can get some great deals on software that hasn’t even been invented yet. Its so far in the future and cool that there isn’t even a need or function for it now, and I get get it today!

    By the way does anyone know what VqIzApGdRnAv, XdAhNxAiXq or MrEuRsIaDyIcAh is? I think they are alien races that are threatening the world with extinction.

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