I am not yet recovered.
I cannot count the things that draw me to them, these things that radiate to make the sun touch them with envy.
So many things, so many of them just beyond my fingertips, things that almost seem possible, as though they’re about to happen, any moment now. It’s always been any moment now, any moment at all for the last seven years.
I need to go nova, lost in my own passions.
I need to find meaning again, silver within dusty concrete.
I need to remember what it was like to chase rainbows, too young to know what age was.
There are moments that I have not yet had that call me in my sleep, that pull part of me away from my waking self, leaving me only half-alive with a hunger that I have never known.
Any moment now, it’ll come together and make itself known.
Any moment now, it’ll fall through, leaving me where I’ve always been.
Any moment now, it’ll all become clear.
Any moment now.