There is a Japanese documentary from the 80s called The Emperor’s Naked Army Marches On. In this film, a veteran of the second world war is desperately searching for the truth about what happened to the other grunts in his platoon at the end of the war. After a long, difficult, and frustrating search for other war survivors and relatives, he finds the commanding officer for his battalion, and asks him what happened to all of his friends. The officer tells him that they ate them, because they were all starving to death on a small island. The man puts down the camera, walks over, and beats the living shit out of the officer.
Right now, I feel exactly like this man. Both of them.