Electoral Whozit? (Or: Bush received more votes than any candidate in US election history)

Dearest America:

You’re a very confusing neighbour. We’re not sure why you hate gay people, why you elected Tom “death-penalty-for-abortion-doctors” Coburn and Jim “single-mothers-and-homos-are-morally-unfit-to-teach” DeMint to the Senate, or what exactly you’re doing in Iraq, for that matter. But it seems very important to you, so we hope you accomplish whatever it is you’re trying to do.

We are, however, very much looking forward to taking weekend shopping trips to NYC after our dollar overtakes yours.


17 thoughts on “Electoral Whozit? (Or: Bush received more votes than any candidate in US election history)

  1. I thihk the only good thing comming out of the election is that out dollar will rise and getting things from/in the states will be cheaper.

  2. not really. on an individual basis, our dollar overtaking theirs will be a nice relief. but it will cause a problem with our exports, ‘cos at this time, we gain a lot on the canadian/american conversion as we sell product to them – and we export a lot. it’s likely to affect our general economy in a negative manner.

  3. It’s likely to affect our exports to the US in a negative manner, and encourage the Canadian market to look elsewhere for financial ties. It’s only likely to hurt our economy if you take the view that we are unable to establish and expand relationships with other buyers.

    If our economy -is- adversely affected by a rising dollar, our dollar will then drop, which will (by your criteria) improve our economy, and so our dollar will rise, until it finds equilibrium.

    A stronger dollar is a good thing.

  4. This is why a few years ago I was saying to a friend of mine (G.Walls) what as a nation we need to diversify our client base.
    … Like Australia… they are nice people.
    China. More to China. They like our stuff.
    Heck… really all of the EU…

    So. Strong dollar for us at the expense of the US and a healthier economic state…
    What’s the problem?

    Besides being neighbours to bloody-mouthed technologically advanced psychopaths (as a nation, not as individuals)…

  5. I am starting the search for land/farm/houses in British Columbia. I still need to figure out that whole “what it takes to move to Canada” thing…paperwork and taxes and whatnot…but the vote has shown me that the country is just beginning it’s slide towards the right and that things are going to get a lot more Puritan from here.

    I can’t imagine raising my son in a country where some people don’t have the same rights as others because of what they do with their naughty bits, or a country where rape victims are forced to remain pregnant, where a 5 week old zygote is more protected than a retarded kid on death row, where the government has secret lists that determine if you can travel. (A list, by the way, that I’m on.) And don’t even get me started on the economy, the deficit and the insane Holy Wars.

    I feel, vicerally feel, like the ground is shifting and I should get out while it’s still possible to cross the border.

  6. A friend of ours from the US is on our couch as I type this, and he’s not going back.

    If you want to move, you should do it now. It’s secretly not that hard to move to Canada and find work. I know a number of Americans who’ve done it.

    If you decide you want to end up near Ottawa, I can help you get settled for as long as I’m still in the country. (Which, if all goes well, won’t be too much longer)

  7. Thanks for the well wishes. We don’t often treat you well, making fun of your accents and socialized medicine, but its nice to know that you’re big enough not to respond in kind. We’re in for a rough four years(or more, Bush and Co. are excellent at putting long term legacy plans into place), and we’ll need all the help we can get when we finally realize we actually need it.

  8. (guided here by plastikgyrl by the way)

    We’re in the US and really want to get out while we still can – we talked about this extensively beforehand, that if W won again we wanted out. But everything I’ve heard is about how it’s so hard to move to Canada. Of course, there are 5 of us (2 adults, 3 kids) so that might make it harder…I don’t know. All along I thought that moving to Canada was really hard.

  9. Dear Canada

    We’re not really sure what we’re doing either, it confuses many of us to a great degree how these things happen. Some of us suspect it’s us going through a really weird teenage rebellion, after all as nations go we’re right in that period. Though so are you, and you seem to be handling it rather well, kudos, any tips would be appreciated. The evidence we have so far is that we have violent mood swings, ala Iraq, we form ideas based only on a few select people and refuse to change them despite new information, gay marriage, and the various elected officials. Please be patient with us, some of us are trying to push forward to our college years where we will become very peaceful loving peoples, who want to learn from other nations and take in new ideas.

    Love the currently defeated American public

  10. if you are looking for land in BC, I know of lots,
    land is cheap here in the Kootenays.

    Not that I know who you are or anything,
    just thought I’d help you escape your ruler.

    Don’t worry, eveything will be just fine after WW3
    Until then, I’ll be hiding in the mountains.

  11. Dear America

    Thank you for your response but we as a nation of half your age are still confused by your actions. We are wondering how long this ‘phase’ of yours is going to last as you’ve been this way quite overtly since late-WWII. We know you’re getting enough sunlight, in fact more than us because we are the great northern !wasteland!. Perhaps it’s because when you were younger you ran away from home and have been scared of mom and dad Britian grounding you instead of just sitting down and talking with them about leaving like we did. We’re not quite sure but we think it’s because you’re not taking a sufficient number of naps or drinking enough of our obviously superior canadian beer. Please do feel free to take some because some crazy guys here thinks its vile and refuse to drinking there share. Maybe it’s because we sent to you actors such as William Shatner as a cruel joke and since then you’ve been in chemical therapy; we don’t know. What we do know is that we have some of the best gamers in the world and can count among us individuals such as twiin, arbaal, corradus, ev0fdestruction, and oninofro. Oh yeah, we guess that king__awesome, joshfnlazer and zeewhiteninja are okay. Anyways, we wish you the best and hope that we’ll all be able to hang out without worrying about being blown up.

    Your pal and distant brother,


    ps – please send warmth; it’s freezing here!!!

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