Restraint » WTF http://restraint.org non sum qualis eram Tue, 27 Jul 2010 21:00:07 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 en hourly 1 Exciting Miracle! http://restraint.org/wtf/2522/exciting-miracle/ http://restraint.org/wtf/2522/exciting-miracle/#comments Fri, 16 Apr 2010 03:58:37 +0000 Jairus http://restraint.org/?p=2522

]]> http://restraint.org/wtf/2522/exciting-miracle/feed/ 0 Scream Carving http://restraint.org/wtf/2510/scream-carving/ http://restraint.org/wtf/2510/scream-carving/#comments Tue, 13 Apr 2010 05:39:40 +0000 Jairus http://restraint.org/?p=2510 I gotta say, this ‘content aware scaling’ feature in CS4 is pretty good. I can’t believe I didn’t know about it before now.

Sweet dreams!

]]> http://restraint.org/wtf/2510/scream-carving/feed/ 0 Once more with feeling http://restraint.org/wtf/2501/once-more-with-feeling/ http://restraint.org/wtf/2501/once-more-with-feeling/#comments Sun, 11 Apr 2010 19:13:18 +0000 Jairus http://restraint.org/?p=2501 Because keywords are easier than content, another sampling of search referrers:

  • quantum particles superposition
  • sharktopus
  • can you go to prison for murdering someone
  • dun dun dun dun da da da da dah
  • vampirella sucks
  • fucking machine turnstile
  • what happens to atoms when they are in heat
]]> http://restraint.org/wtf/2501/once-more-with-feeling/feed/ 0 naked secretaries and lesbian ecxtacy http://restraint.org/wtf/2498/naked-secretaries-and-lesbian-ecxtacy/ http://restraint.org/wtf/2498/naked-secretaries-and-lesbian-ecxtacy/#comments Wed, 31 Mar 2010 06:30:12 +0000 Jairus http://restraint.org/?p=2498 A selection of search engine referrals to my website this week:

  • training pyrokinesis
  • light baconnaise
  • what is wrong with the criminal justice
  • sea urchin embryo
  • robo restraint
  • i have ridden the mighty moon worm
]]> http://restraint.org/wtf/2498/naked-secretaries-and-lesbian-ecxtacy/feed/ 1 Cuuuuuuute! http://restraint.org/wtf/2431/cuuuuuuute/ http://restraint.org/wtf/2431/cuuuuuuute/#comments Fri, 05 Feb 2010 03:04:50 +0000 Jairus http://restraint.org/?p=2431 Work harder.

]]> http://restraint.org/wtf/2431/cuuuuuuute/feed/ 0 Placentophagtastic! http://restraint.org/wtf/2346/placentophagtastic/ http://restraint.org/wtf/2346/placentophagtastic/#comments Fri, 04 Dec 2009 13:05:41 +0000 Jairus http://restraint.org/?p=2346 Went looking on Craigslist for a Technics 1200 dustcover, found this instead:

Hello!

As an avid foodie, I am always looking for tasty culinary experiences.

I am looking for a pregnant woman (preferably due around christmastime so that I can offer to my xmas guests) to sell me her placenta! I plan on using it to make a few dishes, and will probably braise some of it to make a bourgignon-style stew, turn some into a stuffing for ravioli, dice some up into a tartare and slice the rest very thinly to be cooked in a Vietnamese-style soup. If you are interested, you and your partner would be very welcome to join in this gastronomical adventure.

It would be an easy way for you to recoup some of the medical costs associated with pregnancy. You could even spend the money on the baby! If you wanted, I could give you a gift card to Toyz R Us or wherever you wanted to shop.

I would prefer if you didn’t have any blood-borne diseases, but this can be discussed.

]]> http://restraint.org/wtf/2346/placentophagtastic/feed/ 0 man i could really go for some burger king right now http://restraint.org/wtf/2079/man-i-could-really-go-for-some-burger-king-right-now/ http://restraint.org/wtf/2079/man-i-could-really-go-for-some-burger-king-right-now/#comments Fri, 26 Jun 2009 12:53:32 +0000 Jairus http://restraint.org/?p=2079 VW Ad

]]> http://restraint.org/wtf/2079/man-i-could-really-go-for-some-burger-king-right-now/feed/ 1 Baconnaise! http://restraint.org/wtf/1311/baconnaise/ http://restraint.org/wtf/1311/baconnaise/#comments Mon, 08 Dec 2008 17:40:20 +0000 Jairus http://restraint.org/?p=1311 Baconnaise!

BACONNAISE IS THE ULTIMATE BACON-FLAVORED SPREAD! USE IT ON SANDWICHES, SALADS, DIPS, SAUCES, CHICKEN, FISH AND FRIES! VEGETARIAN SAFE!

]]> http://restraint.org/wtf/1311/baconnaise/feed/ 4 Changes http://restraint.org/wtf/1080/changes/ http://restraint.org/wtf/1080/changes/#comments Wed, 19 Nov 2008 04:45:09 +0000 Jairus http://restraint.org/?p=1080 Testing mobile posting. All hail the corporate blackberry!

]]> http://restraint.org/wtf/1080/changes/feed/ 0 I’m not sure I really understand what’s going on here http://restraint.org/wtf/1031/im-not-sure-i-really-understand-whats-going-on-here/ http://restraint.org/wtf/1031/im-not-sure-i-really-understand-whats-going-on-here/#comments Tue, 18 Nov 2008 00:05:32 +0000 Jairus http://restraint.org/?p=1031

]]> http://restraint.org/wtf/1031/im-not-sure-i-really-understand-whats-going-on-here/feed/ 2 I’m a shaaaark http://restraint.org/wtf/918/im-a-shaaaark/ http://restraint.org/wtf/918/im-a-shaaaark/#comments Sun, 16 Nov 2008 23:17:34 +0000 Jairus http://restraint.org/?p=918 shaaaark

]]> http://restraint.org/wtf/918/im-a-shaaaark/feed/ 0 this video filled me with a pure white light and i fell to my knees and wept http://restraint.org/lj/782/this-video-filled-me-with-a-pure-white-light-and-i-fell-to-my-knees-and-wept/ http://restraint.org/lj/782/this-video-filled-me-with-a-pure-white-light-and-i-fell-to-my-knees-and-wept/#comments Sat, 26 Jul 2008 02:55:00 +0000 Jairus http://atlas.khan/restraint/?p=782 How To Do The Robot

]]> http://restraint.org/lj/782/this-video-filled-me-with-a-pure-white-light-and-i-fell-to-my-knees-and-wept/feed/ 11 happy sunday everyone http://restraint.org/lj/765/happy-sunday-everyone/ http://restraint.org/lj/765/happy-sunday-everyone/#comments Mon, 16 Jun 2008 07:51:00 +0000 Jairus http://atlas.khan/restraint/?p=765

]]> http://restraint.org/lj/765/happy-sunday-everyone/feed/ 4 breakfast http://restraint.org/lj/702/breakfast/ http://restraint.org/lj/702/breakfast/#comments Fri, 18 Jan 2008 14:26:00 +0000 Jairus http://atlas.khan/restraint/?p=702 ads6

]]> http://restraint.org/lj/702/breakfast/feed/ 9 LESLIE WHERE’S MY COFFEE http://restraint.org/lj/686/leslie-wheres-my-coffee/ http://restraint.org/lj/686/leslie-wheres-my-coffee/#comments Wed, 28 Nov 2007 19:44:00 +0000 Jairus http://atlas.khan/restraint/?p=686

]]> http://restraint.org/lj/686/leslie-wheres-my-coffee/feed/ 6 Space Cake http://restraint.org/lj/663/space-cake/ http://restraint.org/lj/663/space-cake/#comments Mon, 10 Sep 2007 08:23:00 +0000 Jairus http://atlas.khan/restraint/?p=663
Space Cake
Leslie made delicious vanilla layer cake…. FROM SPACE!

]]> http://restraint.org/lj/663/space-cake/feed/ 8 I fear it might be too late for myself http://restraint.org/lj/515/i-fear-it-might-be-too-late-for-myself/ http://restraint.org/lj/515/i-fear-it-might-be-too-late-for-myself/#comments Sun, 23 Apr 2006 23:31:00 +0000 Jairus http://atlas.khan/restraint/?p=515 Today I received the best email ever.


To: jairus@gmail.com
Subject: Jairus, I fear it might be too late for yourself.
From: jairus@gmail.com
Date: Sat, 22 Apr 2006 16:08:39 -0700 (PDT)

By you I mean me. This is yourself. Jairus Khan of 1502 Clementine Boulevard. That is, before Ottawa was destroyed and our music career failed. The year is 2034. I can’t elaborate now, they’re onto me. We must prevent what is now history from happening in your future.

]]> http://restraint.org/lj/515/i-fear-it-might-be-too-late-for-myself/feed/ 18 Here’s anotha! http://restraint.org/lj/415/heres-anotha/ http://restraint.org/lj/415/heres-anotha/#comments Mon, 23 May 2005 07:45:00 +0000 Jairus http://atlas.khan/restraint/?p=415 <moift> the rain in spain is mainly in the plains <Krrrlson> the dicks in spain are mainly in your mom ]]> http://restraint.org/lj/415/heres-anotha/feed/ 14 fact checking is for suckers http://restraint.org/lj/409/fact-checking-is-for-suckers/ http://restraint.org/lj/409/fact-checking-is-for-suckers/#comments Thu, 05 May 2005 05:51:00 +0000 Jairus http://atlas.khan/restraint/?p=409 fact checking is for suckers
fact checking is for suckers

]]> http://restraint.org/lj/409/fact-checking-is-for-suckers/feed/ 8 HILARIOUS http://restraint.org/lj/400/hilarious/ http://restraint.org/lj/400/hilarious/#comments Sat, 02 Apr 2005 15:01:00 +0000 Jairus http://atlas.khan/restraint/?p=400 Shane and I made a song. In five minutes. Literally. We recorded the entire thing in one take.

After this take, we discussed how to make bad music more efficiently, and failed at making bad music. We did, however, make some pretty epic and gay music.

Enjoy, jerks: Shane and Jairus are going to Music Hell.

]]> http://restraint.org/lj/400/hilarious/feed/ 5